Quoting Captain Trump of the RMS Titanic:
There isn’t any iceberg.
There was an iceberg but its in a totally different ocean.
The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon.
There is an iceberg but we didn’t hit the iceberg.
The iceberg is a Chinese iceberg.
We are taking on water but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat if they want them and they are very beautiful lifeboats.
But passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them. We don't give lifeboats to nasty people.
We don't have any lifeboats. We are not in the lifeboat business.
Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats.
I really don't think we need that many lifeboats.
If we had any lifeboats they would be our lifeboats, not the passengers lifeboats.
The lifeboats were left on shore by the last captain of this ship.
Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg.
From
Reddit.com
And we lastly have:
The Narcissist’s Prayer
That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, it is not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did.
You deserved it!
Just a few bites to chew on as we hunker down in our bunkers. By the way, the Titanic Captain did go down with his ship.