SAC ST Coach OUT Enjoy this silly post I conjured up :rofl: :
Sacramento State Settles Lil Yachty Halftime Debacle, Named Head Coach
SACRAMENTO, Calif.
In one of the strangest resolutions in college sports history, Sacramento State has hired rapper Lil Yachty as its head football coach to settle a months-long dispute over his infamous four-minute halftime performance at October’s homecoming game, multiple sources told Big Sky Conference Athletics Fan Forums. Sacramento State will also bring a live panda enclosure to the campus, stoking animal rights and Montana Grizzly fan outrage.
The Grammy-nominated artist was contracted for a 20-minute set but abruptly left the stage after four minutes, citing “safety” and “bad vibes.” Students booed, refunds were demanded, and the story trended for many days. Instead of litigation or payment, both parties agreed: Yachty, 27, takes the head coaching job through 2029 with salary ranges from $1,000,000 first year to $2.1 Million in year 4.
Yachty promised to install a spread offense called “The Boat.” Community organizers plans to levy the university to build a new athletic facility for football exclusively at the edge of the American River, as well as build a nearly 40 foot long model pirate ship near the west end zone.
New signage is already up: “Welcome to The Marina.” Introductory press conference Friday; sailboat hats are recommended.